Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Surgery Is Done!

Hello bloggy friends! Great news, the surgery is done and over with! If you want to read about it, you can visit this post on my primary blog.

Sorry I haven't been around much the last two weeks, but now that this procedure is behind me, I fully intend to catch up on ALL of my blog reading. Get ready for comment mania from me. :)

I missed you all, and can't wait to hear how everyone is doing.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

It Gives One Chills

Sometimes it amazes me just how spot on Ross is with his readings. Sometimes I think I know what he means during a reading, or that I know exactly what he is talking about, only to find out later that what he said had not yet occurred in life. For example, at my last reading he told me to ask the cards if DH really wanted to add another baby to our family. I looked at him with a face that said, "Duh Ross! Are you serious?" I then told him I didn't need to ask the cards because one night after all of this crap with the weak spot in my uterus went down back in February, I had told DH that maybe we just needed to be done having kids. DH told me that maybe I was done having kids, but that WE were not done having kids. At the time it was a total slap in the face.

However, I obliged Ross and asked the cards. The answer that came back was yes and no. I asked him to elaborate. He told me that there is an underlying fear in DH with growing our family. Today DH and I were sitting at the table having lunch with the Munchkin. She was so adorable eating her turkey sandwich and mandarin oranges. I looked at DH and said, "I can't wait to add another one to our family." To which he replied, "I can." I was shocked. Gobsmacked. He has NEVER said that before. When I asked him why, he replied, "money." The funny thing is, when Ross asked me what I thought DH's hangup was and I told him money, the first card I pulled was... you got it, money!

I realize DH was tired today, so much so that apparently his mind-to-mouth filter was off. Had he not been so tired, I am sure he wouldn't have said that, at least not to me. I then asked him if he wanted to wait a while before trying again, even though we already can't start trying until around September. It was then that he realized what he had said out loud, and he assuaged me by saying that it didn't matter, he wanted more, and so we would make everything work. I bit my tongue to keep from bringing up my reading with Ross. However, the accuracy of the reading was not lost on me. Whether DH believes in Ross's ability or not, the man has a gift, and more often than not, he is spot on, to the point that it gives one chills sometimes.

According to Ross, this surgery will go great, everything will work out, and I will have a son next. Let's see if he is right about that too. I am sure he will be ;)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Hello? Hello? Hello?

The title of this post is supposed to represent the echo in a canyon because that is how I feel when it comes to updating my blogs lately. I kind of feel like my work blocking blogger might have been just what the doctor ordered for now. Like another one of my good bloggy friends, blogging has added a lot of stress to my life the past few months. I follow 85 blogs (EIGHTY-FIVE blogs people!) between the two of mine, and I post updates on both of mine regularly. It is a major part of my life, but as with all things in life, sometimes I just need a break for a bit. Some space, if you will.

On top of that, I think my mojo took a break. I'm not sure what happened, but ever since the day after my appointment at the May.o Clinic, I have felt really down. I haven't talked to anyone about it except one of my best friends. As always, I try to hide it and put on my happy face. I think I might be going through a serious emotional withdrawal still. I mean, for 2 months my life was in a crazy tail spin with all of this uterine rupture jazz, and let's face it, that roller coaster ride took me up to the clouds, sent me crashing down through the ground, spun me around in circles until I wanted to puke, and then repeated the whole process multiple times. Its no wonder I just want to be zen for a while!

I went from caring about EVERYTHING to caring about precious little outside of the people in my world (blog friends included, of course). I just don't have it in me to care about very much right now. Just ask my good friends and DH. I don't think they have ever seen me so apathetic about anything and everything. Whatever.

I have granted myself the grace to do what feels good in the moment. Thanks to Ross, what feels good this past week is just plain being out of the house. I have taken his advice and run with it. So why am I adding pounds to my frame when I'm being active? I know, I know, muscle weighs more than fat. Whatever.

As for those of you who asked if Ross does readings over the phone, I am sorry to say he normally doesn't. During our session last week he told me the only reason he felt comfortable doing them over the phone for me is because he knows me so well. I seriously considered asking him if he would try them over the phone for any of you who are interested until I remembered he said that during my las reading. I might still ask him anyway.

My surgery is next Friday, and then I will be off work for 3-6 weeks. During that time I will be doing TONS of blog reading and commenting. Please be patient with me until then. I have given myself the grace to back off of feeling like I need to do everything in the meantime. I miss you gals. I'll be back. Just let this rubber band stretch away for a bit, and then I'll snap back tight as ever. :)

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Words of Ross

So this past weekend I went home to visit my folks. While I was there, I asked my dad if we could go see his friend, Ross. For those of you who have been following this blog for any length of time, you will remember that Ross has a very special psychic gift. Okay, before my new readers start laughing, I would like to tell you to hold your sniggers. This guy really DOES have the ability. In fact, his gift is known to the U.S. government who have been known to show up at his front door unannounced, take him away to the airport, put him on a jet, and take him to an undisclosed location to use his gifts in planning strategies. This happened recently, actually. They have found that he is consistently over 90% accurate. He is also well-known in the area where I grew up. It is amazing being in the same room as him.

When DH and I were going through infertility treatments, Ross had no idea. But one day my dad and he went to lunch. My dad asked Ross what he saw for me. Ross told him that he knew we would have a hard time conceiving. That our path to parenthood would be long and hard, but that we would eventually go on to have at least one little girl. Nine months later, we were pregnant, after almost two years of infertility treatments and surgery. We had a girl.

This weekend I just wanted Ross to give me a general reading. I feel that life has been pretty good lately and that I am on the right track. I kind of wanted confirmation of what I had been feeling. My reading was awesome and lasted over two hours. A lot of it had to do with DH, and I won't get into that because it is DH's story, and I don't think he would appreciate me blogging about it (even though he is a non-believer [even though Ross gave him a 100% accurate reading last fall regarding a job situation]). But what I will tell you is that Ross confirmed I AM on the right path.

Ross feels very strongly, as do my dad and I, that my next child will be a boy. He told me that my upcoming procedure will have a little wrench thrown in it, being that either the surgery will take a little longer than my doctor thinks because he will find something else that needs to be taken care of. I told him I had had the same feeling about the surgery. My doctor thinks he will be in and out, but I have had a feeling he will find some other things in there that need to be addressed. Honestly, I feel like it will have to do with my ovaries. I've felt that for a while now.

When I asked if my next pregnancy would go as smoothly as my first, he confirmed what I had already been feeling, and that is that it will. I just feel deep down that everything will be fine. Now before you think he provides me with vague information that I turn around and interpret how I want (which is what my husband thinks), he doesn't. He is very specific when he can be, and his ability to hit the nail on the head is amazing. I am telling you, this guy is for real. He is no stupid Ma.dam Cl.eo.

I forgot to ask if I would have more than one more child. I guess for now I am just focusing on getting the next one here.

He did tell me that I need to get outside more and spend more time on myself. I told him I blogged, and that was my thing. He laughed and told me that didn't count. My daughter loves to be outside, and she will climb in her stroller and close the tray by herself daily. After talking to Ross, who said even my baby could tell what I needed, DH and I decided I will take the Munchkin on a walk every time she does that from now on. When I asked her if she wanted to go on a walk tonight, she climbed right in her stroller. She knew what it meant!

Remember my Top 5? That came up in my reading as well. Specifically my Developer trait. I couldn't help but smile when he started talking about that, and I thought of a couple of you in particular while he talked about it, especially you Noelle. :)

Now we just sit back and wait to see how accurate Ross was. I am really going to enjoy posting about it when he is. He has been right so many times before. And again, none of what he says is vague and left open for interpretation. He gives me specifics. Won't it be interesting if he is (we are) right about the surgery?

Also, I wanted to let you all know I was reading up on your blogs over the weekend, but I am not always able to comment from my phone. I can if your page doesn't refresh for word verification, but most of your blogs do, so I couldn't comment. Know that I have been following along and will comment when I can. Noelle and Sass, you are both very much in my prayers.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Oh dear blog friends, I am afraid what I do in my down time at work has been noticed, and it was not taken happily by the powers that be. In other words, I read blogs when I'm bored, which is more than I would like, as my services are only needed toward the end of our burning projects. But I think the thing that really kicked me in the ass with all of it was the number of times I logged into blogger every day. I am sure a huge red flag went up, and honestly, I'm surprised it has taken this long. I knew if I kept going the way I was, eventually I would be found out and blocked.

Today was that day.

I got to work and nothing to do, as I am waiting on stuff from other people. So what did I do to occupy my time? I went to my happy place, my blogs. Imagine how unhappy I was when I was greeted with a message telling me all personal sites, including blogs, were now being blocked. I couldn't log in.

I wasn't mad. I'm still not mad. I AM sad though. I feel like my best friend has been fired. What am I going to do between projects now? I wonder if they will block CNN too? The funny thing is, they didn't block Fa.ceBo.ok, and I am sure that site gets way more hits company-wide than blogspot. Oh well. There isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

The thing that really makes me sad is there is no way I can be caught up on my blog reading anymore. DH hates my blogs. He calls them, "my boyfriend." So if I ever dare take any time away from him to blog, I hear about it for the next two months. I started writing my blog posts just before bed (hence all of the typos and grammatical errors) just to keep from stealing time from him. That still didn't make him happy though. If I had time to blog, I had time to snuggle with him. Forget the fact that my blogging time came out of my sleeping time.

I think what is going to happen is this blog will eventually have to merge with my primary blog. I am going to try not to do that, but if I can't keep up with two blogs, I will have to downsize. I need this blog. It is my secret hiding place. I guess we'll just have to see how things go. I only have a few more weeks until my surgery, and then I can blog my butt off while I convalesce for four weeks.

Be patient with me friends. I now have to come up with a new blogging strategy. My comments may slow down for a bit. The funny thing is, I can still access everyone's blogs, I just can't log in to comment on them. I might try to read at work and then comment from home at night. I'll figure it out, cause I'm smart like that.

All right, I'm off to catch up in the half hour before my laundry is done, at which point I will be going to bed... late.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Secrets of a Fair Weather Blogger

I feel like lately all of my posts have been rants about people or situations in my life, at least on this blog. My other blog seems to be where all of the magic happens, and that makes me feel bad. I mean, yeah, a big part of the reason behind this blog is so I can talk about things I can't on the other one because everyone IRL has the other one, and sometimes I just need to complain about them or work or whatever. But my friends on this blog don't only need the whiny me, they need the fun me! So let's get a little more personal, shall we?

I wanted to share a secret with all of you. One that my family members can never find out about or I will never hear the end of it. Before I tell you, I need to let you all know that I was raised in the LDS faith. No, we are not polygamists (polygs get excommunicated, btw), and no, we are not Amish. Yes, we believe in Jesus, and yes, it is the same Jesus as the rest of the Christian world. Now that we have that out of the way we can move on.

My religion taught me to never drink alcohol, coffee, or tea, to never smoke or do drugs, so I didn't. Growing up it was a religious thing, but as I got older and spread my wings, it turned into a personal choice.

Since graduating from college, I have officially become what people in my religion call, "Jack Mormon." Meaning I am a member, but I rarely attend services. I also don't follow all of the rules. Some would say I don't because I think they are an inconvenience to my life, but the reality is, I just don't think God cares as much as my religion teaches. I believe that as long as I am a good person, and do my best to be a good person in this world, that is what really matters. I don't think I will spend an eternity in hell because I like to indulge in the occasional Star.bucks frappuchino. I think a frapp compared to stealing or murder is small fries, and not something God will really condemn me for (the frap, of course).

I mean, does this look like the face of a villain?

"I love puppies, laying on the beach, and drinking the occasional frap."

I further don't believe that God will send all of my non-mo friends to hell because they drink on occasion and don't attend church. I think of all the things he would send people to hell over, a shot if whiskey wouldn't be one of them.

Now that we have dispensed of the prelude, I can tell you all my dirty little secret. Last Friday my teammates and I went to our weekly lunch. That day also happened to be the birthday of the only other girl on the team. To celebrate, one of my coworkers ordered up a round of baby bellini's (it was an Italian restaurant). At first I opted out. I mean, I've never touched a drop of alcohol in my life.

Take a moment to gasp.

I have always wondered what it tasted like, but my curiosity never got the better of me. I just never cared. I have often thought about what I would tell my daughter when she got to an age where she could drink alcohol, legally or not. Would she do it because her mother never did? Would she laugh at me to all of her friends? Or would she respect and find pride in the fact that her mother never did? Well, if she is anything like me, she will like knowing that her mother gave it a try and could honestly say it wasn't something she cared for. (I can say this because one of my perfect Mormon parents took a swig back in the day.)

So to be a part of the team and celebrate my coworker's birthday, I had my first alcoholic drink! I can honestly say it is not something I care for. But at least now I can say I tried it and didn't like it. I don't think I will become an alchie any time soon.

Now just for grins and giggles, I leave you a somewhat silly picture of me one day after I dyed my hair dark brown for fun. My dog didn't recognize me when I got home and growled and barked at me for 5 minutes while my husband laughed his butt off. This was back during the height of our infertility treatment days, so you will have to excuse the Infertile Acne. :)

Booyah! Sexy infertile mama curled up on the couch with her #1 pooch!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Never Mind

There's a part of me, granted a big part of me, that likes to believe there is some good in all people. I believe that most people crave the comfort and attention of others. Without that need, we would not be fit for this planet. It is instinct. A need for survival. Without it, people go literally insane. Everyone needs to feel loved and appreciated by someone. I don't think anyone deserves to be alone. Not completely alone.

Last week I went to the store to buy Mother's Day cards for my mom. One from me, and one from the Munchkin. Before I even pulled up to the store, my internal battle was going on. Do I get one for my MIL (aka BIL -- and no, the B does not stand for "brother") or not? Normally my answer is a resounding "HELL NO!" But, her dad just died and she is officially cut off from all of her family with his passing. No one likes her, and no one wants anything to do with her, except for her worthless son (again, not my husband, but his half breed brother).

I have already told her I want nothing to do with her, and that she will no longer receive updates or pictures of her granddaughter. This all came after a very long, drawn out, vicious battle between us a couple of months ago after I determined she just could not be nice to anyone to save her poor pitiful life. She just cannot muster the ability to not be cruel for no reason.

That decision was based on the fact that if she treats me and everyone else in her family like that, then how would she treat my daughter when she was old enough to understand how cruel her grandma is? I didn't want her crying because her grandma was mean to her for no reason. The woman makes her sisters cry with her cruelty.

So I sat in the parking lot, wondering if I should be nice and get her a card from the baby. I didn't want her to think I had softened toward her, to think I was willing to mend fences that had been blown apart by a-bombs, or was trying to get at her newly found and undeserved fortune. Because I couldn't decide, I called my dad, who of course has not been bitten by her cruelty personally and so thought I should be the bigger person and get her a card. I used to think the way my dad did, but there are so few redeeming qualities in this woman, and it pains me to say it.

I sat on the card isle forever, trying to find a card that wouldn't imply she was a sweet and loving grandma. I had a hard time. I finally found one that had a prayer in it. It said something along the lines of "I pray for you every day." I laughed and thought, "Don't we all?" It didn't say anything about her being the world's best grandma, or my daughter being lucky to have such a great grandma.

It made me feel sick, but I bought the card. Then drove back to work, debating over whether or not I should tear it up or send it. I then spent the next week not wanting to send the card. DH told me to just send it because I bought it. That isn't good enough reason for me. It would be more satisfying to tear it up.

Today at lunch I decided to not send the card for all of the above reasons. The woman has more money than she knows what to do with now, so she can find comfort this Mother's Day smoking doobies with her son and getting drunk. I will stand by my decision to keep her out of my daughter's and my life.