I have been thinking about this a lot over the past couple of months, and I think it might be time to close down this blog. But before you think that means I will be gone, guess again. I still have my primary blog, and I have slowly been moving my following of your blogs over to my list on the primary blog, which can be found here.
When I first started writing this blog, it had a purpose, and that was to help me deal with my PPD. I needed somewhere to talk about what I was going through without everyone in my real life knowing I was struggling. It was a private battle, and I didn't want my coworkers to know I was on antidepressants and seeing a shrink to work through my PTSD from infertility. More than that though, I didn't want my mother-in-law to know because she has a way of sending emails that she claims are meant to be innocent, but that are just plain cruel. I didn't need any of her negative energy weighing in on what I was already going through. I didn't want her telling me it was my own fault or that I was damaging my baby because of it somehow. I needed a place to talk about these things where no one knew who I was. A place where I felt safe. And I found that with this blog.
I have been AWOL from this blog so much lately, and I finally realized why last night. My mind is being completely occupied by what is going on my life right now that I just can't or sometimes don't want to find the time to sit down to blog. Not only that, but most of the time I can't think of things to write about. Add to that we are back into doing treatments to have another baby. The latter really negates the purpose of this blog, in my opinion.
My life has moved on from trying to deal with past issues back into trying to deal with current issues, which includes seeing an RE on specific cycle days every month and wearing estrogen patches. It could turn back into full blown treatments for us again. God only knows.
I am sorry that neglecting to write in this blog meant not keeping up with my reading and commenting on your blogs. I think I got everyone added to the list on my primary one tonight though, so if you see a new follower in your ranks, that's me. :)
I hope you will all continue with me on my journey to building a family. I know some of you have said you liked this blog better, but all of the things that made this one great are moving to the other one. I find that right now I need to consolidate and simplify my life as much as possible to make room for the chaos that is being reintroduced by treatments.
I will keep this blog up for a while until I decide if I want to shut it down completely or not. Until then, you know where to find me.