The day after my first run in with CDL, I decided to take the dogs and baby out for a walk again. This time Mags was being a little bad, so I decided to leash her shortly into the walk. I have a leash splitter that turns one leash into two, which I was using this night. DH did not join me, but caught up to us shortly after we turned around to head home. A few minutes after we met on the trail, I looked up and saw CDL come around a bend on the trail. I KNEW she wouldn't be able to keep her yap shut. Sure enough, "Oh for pete's sake. Will you please put your dog on a leash?!" I was seriously irritated, and coldly replied, "She IS on a leash." All the while not making eye contact to keep from wanting to lunge at her. She repeated, "Will you PLEASE put your dog on a leash!" I looked up, made eye contact, and raised my voice, "She IS on a leash!!"
DH knew that I had been having a really rough week and interjected to keep me from pummeling CDL. This was the first week I had been to see the shrink, and was before I got my prescription for happy pills. I was totally at rock bottom on this day and had zero emotional capacity to deal with this woman. He politely explained the leash splitter and why Mags wasn't always on a leash. She then began to explain herself by saying her dog didn't like it when other dogs weren't on leashes and it tended to make him misbehave. I bit my tongue and kept walking to keep from telling her SHE was the moron, not her dog. Her dog had no idea how to discern if another dog was on a leash or not, especially if it kept to itself. If her dog was having issues, it was because she was passing her neuroses down the leash to him.
Shortly after getting home I took my dogs out to a green area near our house to play ball and run out some of their excess energy. A few minutes into the game CDL came around the corner and pronounced, "Oh for God's sake! WILL YOU PLEASE PUT YOUR DOGS ON A LEASH!"
DH was not around to save her this time, and I had absolutely had it.
I yelled back that I didn't have a leash, as I was playing ball with my dogs. 6-foot leads are NOT conducive to playing fetch. She then yelled at me and asked how she was supposed to get home. I dunno you moron, by walking down the alleyway 20 feet behind me? At this point I had boiled over. I turned and yelled at her, "If your dog can't behave well enough to go on walks even when he's on a leash, then you need to learn how to be a responsible dog owner and get him trained! The reason my dogs behave is because I have spent thousands of dollars in dog training!"
Of course, she wasn't going down without a fight, and screamed at me the entire time she was walking down the alleyway 20 feet behind me. She told me that I was really nice picking a fight with a neighbor, to which I replied, "Likewise! YOU started this, not me!" Her reply was that she had asked a simple request of me, to which I replied her request was ridiculous. She then threatened to call the pound on me. I told her to go right ahead, and that I would call them right back on her since her dog obviously could not behave and that I was not doing anything wrong.
The entire time we were fighting do you know what my dogs were doing? Laying in the grass next to me, their eyes GLUED to the ball in my hand. They didn't give two figs about her or her stupid dog. Why? BECAUSE MY DOGS ARE WELL TRAINED!
Once she had walked past and shut her yap, I pulled my phone out of the stroller compartment and called DH. I was so angry I was shaking. CDL turned around and glared at me while I called him. She watched me the entire time she was walking down the alley and flipped me the bird just as she went around a corner. I put my hands up in a gesture that implied, "What do you want from me? Grow up."
DH came out right away and was just as pissed off as I was about the whole thing. He said, "I bet Mags and Sades didn't even notice her or her dog, did they?" Nope.
A few days later I was out in the same area playing ball with my dogs. I had turned to talk to my daughter while she was in her stroller and when I looked up CDL was walking down the alleyway right across from us. I quickly looked away and ignored her, but smiled to myself because she had to walk up that alleyway while watching my dogs take turns getting the ball. How many people do you know that have two dogs that take turns playing fetch? While one runs, the other lays down at my feet and waits. I thought to myself, "Ha! Stick that in your back pocket you old bag! Now you've seen my dogs behaving."
We have run into each other a couple times since the incident, but we just ignore each other. I really have no desire to get into another match with her. I didn't want the first one, but I just could not handle a complete stranger feeling like she was entitled to push me around over some neurotic need she had in her head to control everything in her environment.
CDL, if you ever come across this blog, please do the world a favor and get in to see a shrink shortly after enrolling your cocker in dog school. I can attest to the fact that happy pills really do work. You should consider getting on some.
Thus ends my Crazy Dog Lady story. I hope it brought you as much laughter as it has all of my friends, family, and coworkers. I hope that you do not think ill of me for this incident. I really am a kind and generous person. I just have no patience for rude people.