Over the last week my subconscious kept telling me that since we are going to start trying for a baby next month that it is time for me to get off my antidepressants. The thought has nagged and nagged me, until finally I called the doctor's office the other day and made my appointment for next Tuesday.
When I went on them a year ago my plan was to stay on them until I found out I was pregnant. Well, that was the plan as long as my IUD came out in February and we were right back at trying for a baby. We all know that didn't happen. I was so glad I was still on them back then, and decided to stay on them until after my surgery and up until we got pregnant again. Apparently though, my subconscious has other plans and has decided I should go off them now, before we even start trying.
Over the past year, I was nervous about the day I started to wean off. They really did help even me out and keep me sane. But as my doctor says, once the brain figures out how to do these things on its own, the meds aren't necessary any more. We hope that will be the case with me.
I have never been on any medication for so long in my life. Having said that, I feel pretty confident that all of my neurons and receptors are fully capable of doing their jobs without the aid of my meds anymore. I am no longer nervous to go off of them, but excited because its time. They have done their job and served their purpose, and I am ready to be free of them. I am actually pretty excited.
I guess over the next month we will see how I do. I'm ready to lose the crutch and start running on my own again.