Over the last week my subconscious kept telling me that since we are going to start trying for a baby next month that it is time for me to get off my antidepressants. The thought has nagged and nagged me, until finally I called the doctor's office the other day and made my appointment for next Tuesday.
When I went on them a year ago my plan was to stay on them until I found out I was pregnant. Well, that was the plan as long as my IUD came out in February and we were right back at trying for a baby. We all know that didn't happen. I was so glad I was still on them back then, and decided to stay on them until after my surgery and up until we got pregnant again. Apparently though, my subconscious has other plans and has decided I should go off them now, before we even start trying.
Over the past year, I was nervous about the day I started to wean off. They really did help even me out and keep me sane. But as my doctor says, once the brain figures out how to do these things on its own, the meds aren't necessary any more. We hope that will be the case with me.
I have never been on any medication for so long in my life. Having said that, I feel pretty confident that all of my neurons and receptors are fully capable of doing their jobs without the aid of my meds anymore. I am no longer nervous to go off of them, but excited because its time. They have done their job and served their purpose, and I am ready to be free of them. I am actually pretty excited.
I guess over the next month we will see how I do. I'm ready to lose the crutch and start running on my own again.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
A Case of the Mondays
I really enjoyed doing my post last week entitled, "A Case of the Mondays" and have decided to try to do a weekly post, complete with To Do list from work. Without further ado, I present you with this week's Case of the Mondays.
This morning I woke up to my usual Frank Sinatra ballad and hearing about how I'm just too marvelous for words. I valiantly fought off sleep, and swung my feet over the bed while I rubbed my eyes and wondered how in the world it was Monday already. I had just fought the workweek battle and just barely obtained my weekend reward, and already it was being snatched from me.
I blundered through my morning routine of washing my face, getting partially dressed, putting on makeup, battling my hair, and finishing getting dressed. Apparently DH and the Munchkin were having the same kind of morning because we all stumbled out the door at 8:00. Have I mentioned I'm supposed to be at my desk at 8:00? Oops.
Fifteen minutes after leaving the house, I was tip-toeing past my PM's office door, hoping he wouldn't see I was late. I sat down at my desk, booted up the old computer, and got my morning under way. Before I knew it, it was time for my weekly team meeting. Into the conference room I strode with notebook in hand. The meeting started... and then it kept going... and going... and going. I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten yet. It felt like eons had passed. I wanted to doodle on my notepad, but this meeting is small and intimate, so it would be too obvious I wasn't really listening if I did. Instead, I jotted down the things I really needed to this week. Before I knew it, it was time for my next meeting, and I got to leave my current meeting before it was over.
On my way to the next meeting I snagged a cereal bar from my desk cabinet and glided down the hall with a coworker to the oober fun meeting of the day. The one where Gary, my arch nemesis is supposed to be present. Shortly after I was seated, the fun began. I looked around the conference room, and then quickly began to jot down my other To Do items for the week, such as invest in Fo.cus Fac.tor and avoid Gary.
Gary.
Where was Gary? I stopped doodling to look around. The jerk was no where to be seen. Inside I laughed evilly. It was MY turn to give HIM hell for not being there this week. I wrung my evil hands and thought of how I could ride HIS @$$ for not being there.
Almost as quickly as it began, the meeting was disbanding, and I was free to begin my work week.
Now if only I could concentrate.... I sure could use a bottle of Fo.cus Fac.tor.
Somehow I made it through the day. It helped a great deal that I was able to go to lunch with two of my best friends as well as hit the office supply store when the network my documents are saved on went down and caused my software to crash.
By the end of the day there was only one thing I had forgotten to do: Invest in Fo.cus Fac.tor. Tomorrow is another day.
And yes, the snake in the picture is my depiction of Gary, and I am on the left with a gigantic club....
To Do:
This morning I woke up to my usual Frank Sinatra ballad and hearing about how I'm just too marvelous for words. I valiantly fought off sleep, and swung my feet over the bed while I rubbed my eyes and wondered how in the world it was Monday already. I had just fought the workweek battle and just barely obtained my weekend reward, and already it was being snatched from me.
I blundered through my morning routine of washing my face, getting partially dressed, putting on makeup, battling my hair, and finishing getting dressed. Apparently DH and the Munchkin were having the same kind of morning because we all stumbled out the door at 8:00. Have I mentioned I'm supposed to be at my desk at 8:00? Oops.
Fifteen minutes after leaving the house, I was tip-toeing past my PM's office door, hoping he wouldn't see I was late. I sat down at my desk, booted up the old computer, and got my morning under way. Before I knew it, it was time for my weekly team meeting. Into the conference room I strode with notebook in hand. The meeting started... and then it kept going... and going... and going. I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten yet. It felt like eons had passed. I wanted to doodle on my notepad, but this meeting is small and intimate, so it would be too obvious I wasn't really listening if I did. Instead, I jotted down the things I really needed to this week. Before I knew it, it was time for my next meeting, and I got to leave my current meeting before it was over.
On my way to the next meeting I snagged a cereal bar from my desk cabinet and glided down the hall with a coworker to the oober fun meeting of the day. The one where Gary, my arch nemesis is supposed to be present. Shortly after I was seated, the fun began. I looked around the conference room, and then quickly began to jot down my other To Do items for the week, such as invest in Fo.cus Fac.tor and avoid Gary.
Gary.
Where was Gary? I stopped doodling to look around. The jerk was no where to be seen. Inside I laughed evilly. It was MY turn to give HIM hell for not being there this week. I wrung my evil hands and thought of how I could ride HIS @$$ for not being there.
Almost as quickly as it began, the meeting was disbanding, and I was free to begin my work week.
Now if only I could concentrate.... I sure could use a bottle of Fo.cus Fac.tor.
Somehow I made it through the day. It helped a great deal that I was able to go to lunch with two of my best friends as well as hit the office supply store when the network my documents are saved on went down and caused my software to crash.
By the end of the day there was only one thing I had forgotten to do: Invest in Fo.cus Fac.tor. Tomorrow is another day.
And yes, the snake in the picture is my depiction of Gary, and I am on the left with a gigantic club....
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Awkwaaard
Tonight I was talking to my dad on Sk.ype and I proudly told him I had gotten my grandmother's (his mother's) ring back from the jeweler. I asked if he wanted to see it, and he said sure, so I pointed the webcam at the Munchkin and ran upstairs to retrieve the ring. I came back and held it up in front of the lens, but the camera was having a hard time focusing on it, so I kept trying it at different angles and distances. I finally told my dad it was about as good as it was going to get, and asked if he could see it well enough. He said he could, and then he said, "That looks like grandma's ring all right."
All of a sudden, I had this sinking and awkward feeling in my stomach.
Me: She wore it for a long time, didn't she?
Dad: Yes, she did.
Me: Is it weird for you to see me with it, and wearing it?
I had never thought about the fact that my wearing my dad's mother's ring could possibly be awkward for him. The ring that his mother wore as she held him tight all those years, soothed him, baked and cooked for him. All of a sudden, it wasn't on her finger anymore, it was on mine.
When I had dropped the ring off to be repaired the first time, I called my dad as I was driving away from the mall to tell him.
Me (excited): So I just dropped grandma's ring off. They are going to fix the bottom and set it with white topaz. I thought the topaz would be significant because of grandma and grandpa living near and mining at Topaz Mountain.
Dad (not upset, but inquisitive): Why would you do that?
Me (bewildered): I told you I was going to when you gave it to me. I thought it would be nice to restore it.
Dad: What are you going to do with it when you get it back?
Me: Wear it. Why? Does that bother you?
Dad: No.
He didn't seem to dislike the idea, so I just figured my dad was being a man, who didn't care much for sentimentality like I do. When I got the ring back the first time, I took a picture with my phone and sent it to him. He never replied, which isn't an indication of anything, he rarely replies to my texts these days because he has Parkinsons, which makes his hands shake, which in turn makes it hard to hit the little keys on the touch screen accurately. I did call him that night, and he said the ring was beautiful.
But even then, I didn't think about my wearing the ring from his perspective. The one of the little boy who had seen his mother wear that ring for many years.
I asked if he was okay with my wearing it, or if it was too weird to him. He assured me he was, and that it wasn't, but I still felt weird. Weird enough to not wear it? No way. That ring is gorgeous, and I just put some time and money into restoring it so that it could be appreciated again for the first time in years. Do you know how much I love showing it off and telling people it was my grandma's engagement/wedding ring?
Honestly, I think my dad really is okay with it. I think it just might have been a jolt initially and might have stirred up some memories for him. But I know he sees the ring the way I do, as something that can be passed down and treasured for generations. His mother lives on with that ring, and I am so honored to wear it and think of her often, and I do.
All of a sudden, I had this sinking and awkward feeling in my stomach.
Me: She wore it for a long time, didn't she?
Dad: Yes, she did.
Me: Is it weird for you to see me with it, and wearing it?
I had never thought about the fact that my wearing my dad's mother's ring could possibly be awkward for him. The ring that his mother wore as she held him tight all those years, soothed him, baked and cooked for him. All of a sudden, it wasn't on her finger anymore, it was on mine.
When I had dropped the ring off to be repaired the first time, I called my dad as I was driving away from the mall to tell him.
Me (excited): So I just dropped grandma's ring off. They are going to fix the bottom and set it with white topaz. I thought the topaz would be significant because of grandma and grandpa living near and mining at Topaz Mountain.
Dad (not upset, but inquisitive): Why would you do that?
Me (bewildered): I told you I was going to when you gave it to me. I thought it would be nice to restore it.
Dad: What are you going to do with it when you get it back?
Me: Wear it. Why? Does that bother you?
Dad: No.
He didn't seem to dislike the idea, so I just figured my dad was being a man, who didn't care much for sentimentality like I do. When I got the ring back the first time, I took a picture with my phone and sent it to him. He never replied, which isn't an indication of anything, he rarely replies to my texts these days because he has Parkinsons, which makes his hands shake, which in turn makes it hard to hit the little keys on the touch screen accurately. I did call him that night, and he said the ring was beautiful.
But even then, I didn't think about my wearing the ring from his perspective. The one of the little boy who had seen his mother wear that ring for many years.
I asked if he was okay with my wearing it, or if it was too weird to him. He assured me he was, and that it wasn't, but I still felt weird. Weird enough to not wear it? No way. That ring is gorgeous, and I just put some time and money into restoring it so that it could be appreciated again for the first time in years. Do you know how much I love showing it off and telling people it was my grandma's engagement/wedding ring?
Honestly, I think my dad really is okay with it. I think it just might have been a jolt initially and might have stirred up some memories for him. But I know he sees the ring the way I do, as something that can be passed down and treasured for generations. His mother lives on with that ring, and I am so honored to wear it and think of her often, and I do.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
She's Home
Here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for. The unveiling of my grandma's engagement ring. She was due back from the jewelers yesterday, and around 2:30, I got the call that she was back and I could come pick her up. It took everything I had to keep from speeding from the office to the jewelry store.
Here she is, in all her renewed glory!
I probably spent more repairing this ring than it is monetarily worth, but I don't care. The sentimental value of it goes way beyond a price tag to me. This is an heirloom that will be passed onto my daughter one day, and then hopefully passed onto her children. The fact that none of my dad's sisters wanted this ring because it was broken and the diamonds had been removed is still gobsmacking to me. It was totally their loss.
This beautiful piece of my grandparent's past has been repaired with a piece of my past, and will now be proudly worn on my finger for years to come. I had it sized so that hopefully when I get pregnant next time around I will be able to wear it when my own wedding ring becomes to small.
It is beautiful and priceless, and am so happy and proud to be its new owner.
Here she is, in all her renewed glory!
I probably spent more repairing this ring than it is monetarily worth, but I don't care. The sentimental value of it goes way beyond a price tag to me. This is an heirloom that will be passed onto my daughter one day, and then hopefully passed onto her children. The fact that none of my dad's sisters wanted this ring because it was broken and the diamonds had been removed is still gobsmacking to me. It was totally their loss.
This beautiful piece of my grandparent's past has been repaired with a piece of my past, and will now be proudly worn on my finger for years to come. I had it sized so that hopefully when I get pregnant next time around I will be able to wear it when my own wedding ring becomes to small.
It is beautiful and priceless, and am so happy and proud to be its new owner.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Sharing a Favorite
When DH and I first moved to Texas a couple and a half years ago, we visited an art and framing store to find new picture frames for our wedding pictures. They had been in cherry wood frames in our last two places of residence, but the wood scheme of the room they were going into in the new house was maple. While we were looking around, I came across this print by Karen Dupre and instantly fell in love with it.
What is it exactly that I love about this painting? Is it the color scheme? Definitely. I love the browns, golds, and blacks and the way they all just go together. But what I really love is the composition. A million words could not describe what I see and get from this picture.
No matter what era you put this woman in, her clothes and jewelry tell us she is classy, stylish, wealthy. I love her coat, and the way it wraps around her and frames her figure as if it was made just for her. I love the way her black hat comes down over her face that even though you can't see all of it, you know she is beautiful. You know her expression would be one of contentment. She is fulfilled. She hasn't a care in the world, and even if she does, she doesn't care.
Perhaps what I love best is that the title of the painting is, "Time to Shop." The woman in the picture is taking her jaguar shopping with her. The cat is proudly wearing a diamond studded collar that matches his mistresses necklace as he majestically pads down the street next to her. This painting is so artistically done, you would think this was something you would see every day, as if it is a common occurrence to take your pet jaguar shopping with you and no one minds or freaks out at the sight of the massive cat.
This painting just sucks me in. I could stare at it for hours. It is soothing in a way.
While I was looking for the image to upload to this post, I found out that the artist is rather famous. She has many paintings, and there are some I love just as much as this one. There is one in particular that I would like to own, and one day when I purchase it, I will do a post all about it too.
What is it exactly that I love about this painting? Is it the color scheme? Definitely. I love the browns, golds, and blacks and the way they all just go together. But what I really love is the composition. A million words could not describe what I see and get from this picture.
No matter what era you put this woman in, her clothes and jewelry tell us she is classy, stylish, wealthy. I love her coat, and the way it wraps around her and frames her figure as if it was made just for her. I love the way her black hat comes down over her face that even though you can't see all of it, you know she is beautiful. You know her expression would be one of contentment. She is fulfilled. She hasn't a care in the world, and even if she does, she doesn't care.
Perhaps what I love best is that the title of the painting is, "Time to Shop." The woman in the picture is taking her jaguar shopping with her. The cat is proudly wearing a diamond studded collar that matches his mistresses necklace as he majestically pads down the street next to her. This painting is so artistically done, you would think this was something you would see every day, as if it is a common occurrence to take your pet jaguar shopping with you and no one minds or freaks out at the sight of the massive cat.
This painting just sucks me in. I could stare at it for hours. It is soothing in a way.
While I was looking for the image to upload to this post, I found out that the artist is rather famous. She has many paintings, and there are some I love just as much as this one. There is one in particular that I would like to own, and one day when I purchase it, I will do a post all about it too.
Monday, July 19, 2010
A Case of the Mondays
To Do:
Oh yes, this is actually my To Do list at work for this week.
I woke up this morning and dragged my groggy butt to work. I didn't get to sleep until around 12:30 last night, as the Munchkin has her second case of daycare-induced pink eye in a week, so I was up soothing a crying toddler a few times during the night.
As soon as my butt met my desk chair this morning, it was all I could do to keep from falling asleep. I reached under my desk and grabbed my last two frappuchinos, cursing that they weren't already cold. With fraps in arm, I grabbed my water cup, hair brush, and straightening iron. That's right, I do my hair at work. I just can't get myself up that extra 10 minutes early to do it at home.
My weekly team meeting had been cancelled, due to my PM being out of the office today, but never fear, an even more boring, gruelling, and long meeting stood ready to take its place. Better yet, that meeting happened to be with one of the three people in this world I can't stand (those three people are Gary [from work - not his real name], BIL, and Crazy Dog Lady - in that order). Gary rode my @$$ all last week because I missed the Monday morning meeting due to my need to be home with a daughter who was sporting pink eye and a fever. I made it a point to give him "The Look" as soon as I sat down. "See you jerk, I'm here. Eat that."
As the meeting coordinator droned on, it was all I could do to stay awake. I was so glad I had gone to Ein.stiens and grabbed bagels for J and I before I got sucked into the meeting void. All I could think about was how I was going to make it through the day. To help keep myself conscious, I tried to think of funny things. The first thing that came to mind is the new Kr.aft Mac-N-Cheese commercial that makes me laugh my butt off every time I see it.
The commercial is set at a modern family Independence Day-type party setting where Thomas Jefferson is present. The hostess asks Thomas to taste her mac-n-cheese. He does and then proceeds to throw a fit, claiming she stole his recipe. He stomps over to a table covered in food dishes with a bunch of balloons tethered to it, and in a he rage pops one of the balloons with a fork and then kicks over the table. Its hilarious. I couldn't find it on yo.utube, or I'd point you in the right direction.
That commercial is the reason not stealing Thomas Jefferson's recipe is on my To Do list. It is currently a work in progress. Happily, however, I was able to check off the items: Make it to lunch; and Get through Monday. That's about all I was able to check off though. Oh well, at least I made it!
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