Gutted

This picture is worth a thousand words. I think it is an accurate representation of how I felt tonight. A coworker of mine carved this pumpkin for our work pumpkin carving contest. Of course it won! Its fantastic!

I hope you all had a fantastic Halloween. Ours was pretty fun. The day started out great, but then I somehow cheesed (ticked off) the fates, and my day took a quick turn for the worst. This morning dawned absolutely gorgeous, perfect for taking pictures, which is exactly what we did this morning. My best friend brought over her Super Camera and we spent the morning taking family pictures for our upcoming Christmas cards, as well as some age marker photos of the baby. It was perfect.

Afterward my friend and I went to the party store to plan a surprise for her sister's birthday on Monday. It all just went downhill from there. Upon getting in the car, I remembered I had an appointment to take the munchkin to the doctor for her flu shot within the next hour. We decided to hurry at the party store, and then rush home afterward. Ha! Of course I chose the wrong route out of the parking lot and we spent more time sitting at a dysfunctional stop light than we did driving. I had called DH and asked him to please get the munchkin up and have her ready as soon as I got home. She normally eats around the time of her pedi visit, but today she was going to have to eat late so I could make it to appointment on time.

Long story short, we were almost 15 minutes late for our appointment simply because we were going to a pedi office I had never been to before and got lost. While trying to find the office, I noticed my car was overheating. Fantastic. While waiting our turn for the shot, I called the mechanic and let them know I would be bringing my car in. On our way out of the pedi appt, I could feel my darling baby girl's tummy growling. You'd never know she was hungry just by looking at her though, she was so happy. Luckily I had some little crunchies in the car, and put some on a burp rag for her to eat on the way to the mechanic.

We hit Every.Single.Red.Light JUST as it turned red all of the way to the mechanic, which wasn't a short distance away from where we were. I am ashamed to say, I lost my cool. Something I rarely do around my daughter, but my car was overheating, and I had a starving baby in the back seat. I was beyond frazzled. Not to mention, I was also starving.

I'll skip details, but it turns out my car is having some major issues. We're not friends right now. She is absolutely bleeding my dry, and it seems to be all happening at once. Basically, I am looking at dumping over a grand into my car for this weekend alone. That doesn't include my pending paint job next week. Yeah, I was in tears by the time I got home from picking my car up, as it sat, blowing off literal steam in my driveway tonight. It has to go back to the shop first thing Monday morning.

Upon walking in the door, I looked over and saw one of the biggest spiders I have ever seen in my entire life sitting casually on my hardwood floor, right smack in the middle of the room.

I HATE SPIDERS!!!!

They give me the willies, and I can't squish them because they always jump at me when I try. So I screamed, "What the HELL is that?!" to DH. Even he was shocked at the size. I burst into tears again, proclaiming it just really was not my day, as he did his manly duty and squished the spider with my shoe.

All I have to say is thank you to the makers of my antidepressants. They really do help me weather days like this a lot better than I would have otherwise.

The night did get better though. I dressed the munchkin up in her Halloween costume and together, we gave out candy to the trick-or-treaters. Every time we opened the door, the munchkin would squeal with delight to see all of the fun costumes. It is amazing how much one little smile or squeal of delight from her can make all of the worries of the world dissolve away.

After a heartfelt talk with my dad tonight, I remembered that life is about living in the moment. Car troubles, cleaning the house, money, and everything else is trivial. The most important thing in this life is to enjoy the time we are given and spending it with those we love and care about. Nothing else really matters.

The Winds of Change

As of 4:00 yesterday afternoon, things in our house have taken change for the better and will never be the same again.

Hubs has been working and running his own business from home since 6 months into our relationship. Unfortunately, with the economy being the way it was, things slowed down considerably the last year. Needless to say, the need for full time employment became imminent. At first I prayed that his business would pick back up because I was 8 months pregnant when he first posted his resume. I didn't want our baby to go to daycare.

Over the next few months I carefully watched my husband for any signs of stress about money. Luckily he is a penny pincher and so we had a lot of savings to live off of, but as time went on, those savings began to seriously dwindle. Every now and then I would see the panic set in with him, which would always send me off in a downward spiral.

The last few months have been the worst as I watched him go from being picky about what jobs he would consider to being willing to take anything that paid a reasonable amount of money. I saw sides of him I had never seen before and was powerless to help him. All I could do was offer love and support along with words of encouragement.

Then yesterday afternoon, he got the call we have been waiting almost 12 months for, he got a job!

At first I was excited and so relieved. Finally! Finally! A huge weight had been lifted off our shoulders. But then as I went to call my dad to give him the good news, the reality of the situation set in. Before my dad could answer, I was on the verge of tears. My daughter would be going to daycare. My sweet baby girl, whom I fought so hard to get here, and whom had been living the past 9 months at home blissfully with dad, was going to daycare.

I told my dad the news, and then broke down crying for the next half hour. I was so excited and so happy, yet I was so sad and upset. I hate those moments where you feel complete polar opposites with your emotions and there is no middle ground. I was so torn. I know daycare is a good thing. She will have structure, she will be taught, she will learn socialization skills, and all of those other good things. I am sad because she WILL get sick. I know its good because it will build her immune system, but what mother wants to see her child sick and be powerless to bring much comfort?

Now let us not forget all of the preparations that need to be made before she can even go to daycare... like finding one at the last minute! Luckily, I am pretty sure that will not be a problem. We're going to look at a couple facilities tomorrow, both have room, and both are highly accredited. On top of which, I have heard nothing but the best about them from coworkers whose children also attend there. That's not really the part that has my undies in a bunch, its all of the prep work I have to do to get her there. I'm going to need supplies for her to attend. Diapers, wipes in a tub, extra clothes, formula, bottles, baby food, etc. Yes, I already have most of those things, but I have to buy some just for the daycare center, and I have to get everything packed up before Monday.

On top of this, I was scheduled to take my car to a body shop on Monday after work because she is getting repainted after the Texas sun was so brutal to her the last 18 months. This whole business of getting jobs and daycare threw a little wrench in those plans, but I got it ironed out pretty quickly. I'm smart like that.

Now don't get me wrong. I am still so excited about this. In fact, when I woke up this morning most of the trepidation and fear I was feeling the night before were gone. I was onto being happy and relieved, looking at all of the positives.

Remember this post? It was all about our recent financial struggle. My prayers have been answered.

And remember this post? The financial side I alluded to had to do with DH getting this exact job. I asked R if DH would get this job. His answer, "I see two yeses, but a hesitation on your husband's part." DH was interviewed by two people. He accepted the job offer yesterday, and today a job was posted by another employer doing almost the exact same thing for 1.5 times as much money. He has been called by three different recruiters today for this job. Guess who is hesitating tonight? I have to admit, R is on way more than he is off. Am I the only one who finds that kind of ironic?

I think the next week or so will be rough as everyone in this house, including our dogs, adjusts to DH going off to work every day. I mean, that hasn't happened since we've been married! The adjustment period is always the hardest for me. I like being in the swing of things. It will only be a matter of time before everyone is accustomed to the way things are and will be from here on out. It is a good change, and one that we are all looking forward too.

The Overlooked Member

I have been meaning to introduce the overlooked member of our family for some time, but other posts continually took precedence. I would like to introduce you now to Bagera the newt.



Yes, yes, I've heard it all before, "She turned me into a newt...! Well, I got betta..." In fact, my first ever newt was named King Arthur. I think I got him when I was around 12 or 13. I have had aquatic creatures in my life continually since I was 7 years old when I got my first gold fish.



Bagera is so named because he loves to spend his days up in the branches of his plant. I got this little fella when I was a sophomore in college, so we have been together for a long time, just under a decade. He is by far the longest living newt I've ever had. My dad looked up the life span of a newt and found out it can be as long as 65 years! I can honestly tell you, it will be a sad day when this little guy kicks the bucket. We've got a lot of history.



In fact, my senior year of college, my landlady made a surprise visit. She then tried to change my contract to say that absolutely no pets were allowed... including aquatic creatures. One of my roommates had a fish tank that contained a fish she had also had for years. We both told her to stuff it, and that the caveat was not in our original contract, so our pets stayed. Like she was going to kick us out, she needed the rent money and we lived a few miles off campus in the boonies.

Now you have "met" all of the pet members of my little family. We love you Baggy!

Changing My Stars

Tonight I had the reading by my dad's friend whom I believe really has psychic abilities. Now, I want to say right out of the gate that I do believe some people really do have the gift of foresight. I have encountered a few of them who have said things to me that no one else in this world would know. I meet these people through my dad; they are good friends of his. My dad always taught me to be open minded and to realize that anything is possible. I realize that there are skeptics in this world, my husband is one of them, and that is fine. To each their own. For me, I have to go with what I feel.

That being said, I don't believe that just because something is told in a reading it means it is gospel truth. I believe that the readings can be wrong, or that one can "change their stars", to quote one of my favotire movies, A Knight's Tale. The readings provide hope where there might otherwise be none or little.

Just a little back story (I mentioned some of this in my previous post), my dad met his friend years and years ago, so this man has been in my life often throughout the years. He has a gentleness about him, a deep goodness. He is very kind and insightful, and I believe the latter is because he posses a true gift.

If you want more back story, you can see item #3 in my post below.

My dad had been in contact with R over the weekend and setup a reading for me tonight. As soon as he was available, R called. It was so good to hear his voice and chat for a bit. Then the reading began. I asked him if I would have any more children. I didn't tell him anything about our struggles or our current situation. Just asked if there were more. After a moment of silence he sighed and said, "You're not healthy enough right now. Your body is still healing. But I do see that you will have at least one more child. It will be a little boy." I almost cried. I have had a strong feeling lately that we would have one more, and that it will be a boy. He is right, I'm not healthy enough right now. My body is still healing from the birth of my daughter. We can't even think about trying for another baby until February.

I asked when said boy would come into our lives. He told me we would conceive next spring, specifically May-June, and the baby would be born in Jan-Feb.

I asked if there were any more beyond that. Silence, and then, "It will come down to a matter of what is more important to you: your health and your life, or a baby." Ouch. Seriously ouch. I know it is all true, my doctors have told me that. No one told R that, so hearing him say it cut me to the core. It wasn't what I wanted to hear.

We talked about other things too, but those are not for this post.

We're going to do another reading in a week to see if anything has changed, but it is mostly regarding our financial situation. He did give me some good news there, and we will find out if he was right later this week. DH has a job interview on Tuesday, which is round 4 with this company. We are hoping and praying he gets this job, but being an infertile, I am no stranger to not getting my hopes up higher than the knees of ants. All I know is that something has got to change and soon.

Blog Awards Abound!

I have been nominated for two blog awards by the very beautiful Hannah at Life Happens. Thank you so much! I have to say, one of the reasons I love Hannah is that she is an incredibly strong woman in the face of infertility. She has been though soooo much, including a recent miscarriage via IVF, yet she is determine to pick herself up and move on to the next round. She took her setback very well, which is incredibly admirable. Not only that, but she is a very thoughtful blogger. I enjoy her friendship very much.

The first award is this little ditty:



All we need is a little LOVE! This blog is about sisters uniting together and giving others some love because life is hard and who couldn't use a little love? The rules for this award is simple.I LOVE YOU=8 letters which gives you 8 rules :)

Here are the rules:

1-Thank the person who nominated you for this award and write a little bit about why you love them.
2-Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3-Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4-Nominate no more than 17 people (why 17?) who you love or you think could use some love.
5. Write one word (you can only use a word once) about what you love about their blog.
6. You cannot nominate someone who has already been nominated-the love has to spread to all.
7-Post links to the 17 blogs you nominate.
8-Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

I don't follow 17 blogs, but I'll pass this on the best I can.

~Ifer - Endearing
Sarah - Real

That's all. I'm lame, I know. If you want this award and come across my blog, consider yourself awarded.

The second award from the same beautiful Hannah is this little ditty.



Here are the rules for this award:
1.Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2.Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3.Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4.Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5.Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6.Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7.Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they've been nominated.

Seven new things huh? Well, here goes:

1. I am staying up really late to write this post. Its almost midnight, and I have to work tomorrow.
2. I am afraid to start TTC #2. I was excited until I realized how close we are to being able to try again and realized what we are really up against, and now I'm scared.
3. My dad has a friend who is a psychic. This friend said that I would have a baby girl, but that the road to her birth would be long and hard. I did, and it was. No one told him we were struggling to get pg. He recently said I ovulate late in my cycles, which is part of our problem TTC. I do. He had never been told that. He told my mother during a reading that I was not yet healthy enough to conceive, that my body was still healing from my last pregnancy. This is true and correct. We are not allowed to start TTC again until Feb to give my body time to heal. He said we would have two more children. He also said that I would not get pregnant in the next year. I hope he is wrong about the latter, but he has been spot on with everything else.
4. I am not a judgemental person. I don't care who you are, what you look like, or anything else as long as you are a good person. It is rare I come across someone I don't like, and if I don't like them, there is a very good reason.
5. I love to get people who don't smile at anyone to smile at me in passing. I work with four people who for the longest time would not smile at anyone in passing in the halls. They seemed jaded by life and not polite or pleasant people at all. They smile at me and say hello now. I broke them down. :D
6. I love to give. I am a very giving person. I love Christmas and any opportunity I have to give gifts. Giving is more fun to me than receiving. It is truly all the gift I ever want.
7. I married a true blue native Texan, and just gave birth to one a few months ago.

Welcome ICLW!

Here's a big WELCOME to ICLW participants!

My name is Saige, and the purpose behind my blog is to help me make my way back from PPD and PTSD brought on by the battle of infertility. For a complete back story, visit this post.

While I use this blog as an outlet for feelings that aren't always rosy, I try to mingle it with the bits of life that are truly wonderful. No one likes a downer all of the time, and no one likes to be a downer all of the time.

While I am not currently battling infertility, I fought the war and won round 1. In a few months, I will be back in the saddle fighting round 2 with new complications that weren't there in round 1. It is a fight I am nervous to fight, even more so than I was the first time. We have so much more on the line this time than we did before. For now, I am enjoying my break from TTC and filling my time with my beautiful daughter who was worth absolutely everything I had to go through to get her here.

Feel free to follow along on my journey to recovery as I arm myself for the war that lies ahead.

Thanks for stopping by!

Hope (Less)?

As an infertile, I am no stranger to hopelessness. I have definitely been there and back, and I seem to remember burning the t-shirt. It has been a long time since I have been where I am now. That Beatles song keeps coming to mind, "Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to speak with you again..."

Let me start off by saying the antidepressants are fabulous. Fantastic. More than I could ever hope for. But sometimes, all of the antidepressants and Valium in the world can't make life's problems go away. It can't make them better, and it can't make them change.

I have come to a point where I feel like I have talked everyone's ears off, and that if I keep talking through my problems with life, people are going to start turning away from me. They are just as tired of it as I am. But lately, it seems like no matter what I do, I can't get ahead. It is always one step forward, three steps back. The person whom I should be able to talk to just plain doesn't care right now. He feels that his plate is overflowing, and so can't be burdened with my problems. His plate is overflowing. So is mine. But I can't not support him. I can't shut him out. So I do what any good wife would do, and I try to take on his issues along with my own.

The truth is, I'm just not strong enough by myself to handle everything life is throwing at us. It seems that in my attempts to do so or to try to make things better, I only make them worse. My hope has been hanging on by a thread for almost a full year now, and we are worse off now than we were then. A year ago we had hope. We felt that the pieces of our lives would fall into place. We had faith. Everything had to work out. It didn't, and it hasn't.

I feel that I am at rock bottom right now. I feel very alone. Most of all, I see that glimmer of hope I had fading away. The last time I remember feeling this way was when we were undergoing infertility. I always wished that I could see the future to know what it was I needed to be doing to get where I needed to go. I find myself feeling that way again now. Do I even feel anymore, or am I so numb I just don't care?

I just wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew what the outcome would be. I hate feeling like all I can do is plug along the best I can, all the while knowing that I just have to remember I did the best I could with the resources I had. How is this all going to work out?

This post is more a rambling from my brain than a blog post. I don't expect that anyone will read it. I just need to get my thoughts out to where I can see them. I need to be able to wrap my brain around them, dissect them, look for answers. Maybe try to find that little glimmer of hope that is so very near to being snuffed out.

Please God, help us. You have blessed us with an incredible baby, after years of heartache and pain. Now help us to take care of her.

I HEART Fall

I should be upstairs taking a nap right now, since this would be my only chance of the day, but instead, I am here with you, writing about something I love, fall, and sharing some of my all-time favorite memories.

In the years before DH and I met, I had a best friend named Nate. Every single Friday, Nate and I would go out and do something fun together. It was our day. Usually we went to dinner and a movie, hung out downtown, went on a quest for some new music, or went hiking. The latter was our favorite. At the time, I had a little dog named Ruby. She was my first ever Border Collie, and on top of that, she was red. Nate and I loved my dog, and we loved taking her hiking in the mountains near our homes. We have so many wonderful memories of going up into the mountains with Ruby, some that still make us laugh to this day.

Not only did we love hiking, we loved doing it in the fall, and we went as often as we possibly could. Here are a few pictures from some of my favorite hikes. I usually took my camera, and I am so glad I did because I will always have these moments to cherish forever.


Here Nate and Ruby pose for a fantastic picture moment in front of some golden quakies. According to the date on this picture, Nate and I had been friends for about three years at this point. Man we used to have fun. Sometimes I really miss those days.


This is one of my absolute favorite pictures of Ruby and me. It caught in one picture the heart of our relationship. We were both supposed to be looking at the camera, but Ruby reached up to give me a kiss just as the shutter opened. She did this a lot, and the paw always came up when she did. I always loved her kisses, and was always happy to take them. She was my pup.


The scenery was always breath taking. We could have spent hours upon hours in the mountains. We didn't care how cold it was. Light was our only enemy on these gorgeous fall days.


I was occasionally afforded the opportunity to let Ruby off leash. She loved these moments, as it gave her a chance to run through the brush and explore.


Seriously, does it get any more beautiful? In real life the golden trees look as though they are glowing. It is incredible, and there is nothing like it. I really, really miss my mountains, especially at this time of year.
I guess Ruby needed a break. Nate loved taking his turn walking her on our hikes. We took this dog everywhere we possibly could.

I just can't resist sharing these gorgeous pictures. I hope you can't get enough, because I sure can't. I had a hard time eliminating pictures from this post. I wanted to share them all.

Finally, I wanted to share a slightly quirky picture of me in what Nate and I liked to call the swamps. This area reminded us of the movie, LOTR. You can see on my face how happy I was in those days. I was so young and carefree. I valued and looked forward to my time with Nate every weekend. We were never romantic, but we were certainly the best of best friends.

I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane with me. I know I will enjoy looking at these pictures all next week at work. :)

Falling for Fall with a Knee-placement

The past couple of weeks I have been meaning to get around to pulling out my fall wreath for the front door. I LOVE fall! Last weekend, the Munchkin and I went out to the shed to see if it was located where I last remembered seeing it. Much to my pleasure, it was right where I remembered. Even more to my pleasure, I found a matching garland when I opened the bag to show the wreath the light of day for the first time in two years. I didn't remember purchasing the garland, so it was like Christmas to find it. Sadly, my wreath hanger was not in the bag. So for the next few days, the wreath sat next to the front door until I could locate a hanger.

On Saturday morning, I went out into our fancy and super organized garage to find a Christmas box I was sure had a hanger in it.


Enter idiocy.

You see that ladder haphazardly propped up against the boxes? My Christmas box was on a shelf just above it. I thought to myself, "I wonder if that ladder is sturdy enough that I could just climb up it just like that and get the box down." I did. Only two steps from the bottom of the ladder, I knew I had made a HUGE mistake. Max was waiting patiently at the bottom of the ladder and barely got out of the way in time. I remember falling forward, looking at all of the crap all over the floor and thinking, "Oh sh*t, this is gonna hurt!" Oh boy did it ever! I landed smack dab on my knee. Within nanoseconds I was seriously nauseous and dizzy. DH came running to make sure I was okay. I was totally not okay. I couldn't breathe the pain was so intense. Tears were streaming down my face. I wasn't crying, it was a reflex from the pain shooting through my knee. I sat back on the ladder, trying not to vomit and trying not to pass out. I know, I was stupid. STUPID.

In my defense, our garage is not supposed to look like that. I have been trying for some time now to clean it out and put most of it where it belongs. In this currently empty shed:


Okay, that's not much of a defense, but I like to think it is. *sigh* DH felt so bad that he went out and started cleaning out the garage a few hours later. What a sweetie. I love him.

I did, however, find the wreath hanger. I hung up my wreath and garland, while my knee throbbed. It still hurts like a beast. I'm still waiting for the bruise to come to the surface. Lesson totally learned.


I wanted to show you that Max was completely unharmed by my stupidity. She was so happy to pose for this picture, especially since it was her all by herself with no Red. Welcome to my newly decorated fall doorway.


The garland turned out fantastic, if I do say so myself. I love it. I love fall.


This table is just below the stairs and right next to the front door. The plug-in puts off the most wonderful fall aromas. I love those dual air fresheners, especially in seasonal fall scents!

Yes, I seem to love everything. Its true. I guess the anti-depressants I'm on are really working huh? I love them too. :)

P.S. If you missed it, the directions for cheese soup are in the post below. :)

You Asked, I Answered - The Recipe

Many of you have asked for the recipe for the cheese soup shown in my Perfect for a Rainy Fall Evening post. What kind of blog friend would I be if I didn't oblige? Know right now that this recipe is not an exact science. It is one of those "add things until it looks right" recipes. Without further ado, I give you the recipe and directions.

1. I usually start by cutting up about 15 or so small carrots (the kind that come pre-peeled in a bag). This number does not include what ends up going to the dogs as it flies off the cutting board onto the floor. I suppose there ends up being about a cup or less of carrots when I'm done.
2. Next, I peel and cut up about 4-5 medium potatoes. I end up with somewhere around 2-3 cups of potatoes. Also not including what I donate to the dogs.
3. I usually cut up celery and onions as well. I have discovered over the years that it is best to saute these items for a bit to help them soften quicker in the pot. I saute them in butter until they are on the verge of turning clear. You don't want to saute them for too long, as you want them to soak up the cheesy flavor.
4. I like to add frozen peas and corn. I usually add the peas about an hour or so before we eat the soup, as my mother always told me if I added them in at the beginning they would fall apart and disappear before you were ready to eat it.
5. Combine all of the veggies in a pot, slow cooker, or whatever you desire to cook in. The best is something that you can cook it on a low heat for a few hours. This gives the veggies time to soak up the broth. Add enough water to the pot to just cover the veggies.
6. I then add all of my favorite spices. You can add what suits you, but you should add some chicken bouillon as well as salt and pepper. I usually put in some oregano, sage, crushed red pepper, and anything else that smells like it would go well in the soup that night. Feel free to experiment here. I do.
7. Now for the part I always hate, making the cheese sauce. Add about 3-4 tablespoons of butter into a pan and melt it. Don't turn the heat up too high. Once the butter has melted, start adding flour while stirring constantly to prevent lumps. Add flour until the combination is like cookie dough. Then add about 1/2-1 cup of milk, stirring constantly to prevent lumps. The mixture should be thick, like a heavy gravy.
8. Now add about 1/2-3/4 of a 15 oz jar of Cheez Wiz, depending on how cheesy you want the soup. I suppose you could substitute Velveeta if you desire. Now stir like a crazy woman. Warning: You arm WILL get sore. :) Stir until all of the contents in the pan are smooth and thick.
9. Pour the cheese mixture into your vegetable pot and stir, stir, stir, until all of the lumps are gone, and the mixture is smooth.
10. Turn on the heat to a low setting. If you were doing this on a stove, I would think medium heat or just below would suffice. In a crock pot, set it to half way between low and high.
11. The hard work is done. Stir the mixture every now and then and take in the delicious aroma. Taste test every hour or so to ensure the veggies are cooking and everything tastes great.
12. When ready, and if desired, heat up some brown and serve rolls.
13. Dish up your soup, butter your roles, and enjoy!

The best part is the leftovers always heat well and go down just as good the second time. We're actually having our leftovers tonight. :)

Enjoy!

Perfect for a Rainy Fall Evening

All right my few and faithful readers, it is time for something a little less serious. I don't want this blog to be only about dealing with life's crap. I want it to be about the good things too. So tonight I bring you one of my all-time favorite things, the making of cheese soup.

My mother made cheese soup a lot when I was growing up because I loved it so much. There was nothing like a hot bowl of the soup made from scratch on a chilly fall or winter day. It was such a treat. I remember how my mom would cook it for hours in a crock pot, and I would snitch a taste every now and then to make sure it was all coming together nicely. I still do that because it is tradition!

When I was in college I made it for my roommates, and when we had guys over, it was the entree of choice. I have yet to find a person who doesn't love it and request it when possible. When I met DH and made it for him the first time, he was skeptical that a soup could fill him up. He was hooked after his first taste. Now, like I did when I was a kid, he gets all excited when I make it.

I knew yesterday that Wednesday was supposed to be rainy and cold, so I told DH I would prep the soup on Tuesday night and we would have it for dinner the next day. Complete with fresh, warm rolls. Right according to plan, the temps dropped off 10 degrees in a matter of an hour, and the ominous rain clouds that have been hanging around since Monday became threatening.

Weather that is perfect for some cheese soup!

I had let the dogs out to play for a bit, but after they did their biz, they were ready to come back in and catch any carrots or potatoes that fell off the cutting board.


My dogs are conditioned to the sound of my chopping veggies, and so are always at my feet when I do. First up, I sauteed onions and cut the carrots.

The crock pot patiently waits, as DH's first love, pecan pie, looks on in the background.

Next, its potatoes.


I usually add celery, but we didn't have any. Then I added frozen corn and peas. Then it was time to add the spices.


Then comes the part I don't like so much, making the cheese base. You have to be quick on your toes while making the base and stir like a crazy woman the whole time to keep it from turning clumpy like bad gravy.


Then you mix the cheese base in with the veggies, and cook. This is the soup before it was cooked.


I would show you the finished product, but it is in the fridge, waiting for tomorrow. Trust me when I say it looks amazing and smells even better. DH and I can't wait to dig in tomorrow!

Sass Gave Me an Award!

The ever fantastic Sass from Secret Life of Sass and Lex has wonderfully bestowed the following award on me. Thanks Sass!


The rules are that I must write 10 things about me that my readers don't already know. This ought to be juicy! Here we go:

1. All right friends, the cat is out of the bag. I've been wanting to admit this for some time, since I am crap at keeping secrets. This is actually my secondary blog. I created the Return to Innonce blog because everyone IRL has my other blog address and there are some things going on in my life that I don't want them to know about, like my PPD. I hide it well on the surface, but needed an outlet that didn't involve me confessing going to a shrink or taking antidepressants to people I know. I never post the same post on both blogs, and I don't follow any of the same blogs on either site, but my posting content does criss cross. If you figure out which other blog is mine, I will definitely let you know it is me. :) (It also participates in ICLW.)
2. I played trumpet for 10 years and was really good at it. I played because my grandpa played for 40 years during the Big Band Era, and had his own dance band. My dad played for 7 years, and my little brother played for 4. I was pretty decent at it, and it was actually how I paid for most of my college education. I LOVED it. I AM a band geek.
3. I love the TV show Skins. My husband got me hooked on it half way through the current season, and now I crave it. The bummer is the season finale is this week. I've contemplated buying it on DVD.
4. I think my husband is the most incredible, intelligent man in the world. He is so caring and compassionate. His memory retention astounds me. I love watching him interact with our daughter. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about how grateful I am I was able to make him a daddy.
5. I have trained 8 dogs in my 30 years of life; 4 Shelties, 1 Australian Shepherd, and 3 Border Collies.
6. I love cats and grew up always having cats. One day in my early 20s I was all of a sudden allergic to them. I had two cats before I got married, and they still live with my parents. I live thousands of miles away from them now, but my boys still love me when I do get to go home.
7. My husband taught me how to cook after we got married. I don't claim to be a gourmet yet, but I do make some mean enchiladas, stuffed shells, and chicken. I get great pleasure out of DH telling me how delicious my meals are. If he says its good, it was good.
8. I love to vacuum. It brings me a sick sense of pleasure. I recently mowed the lawn and discovered it feels just like vacuuming. Only it's harder, takes longer, and makes me sweat more. But I get the same sense of pleasure out of it.
9. I put my foot in my mouth more often than I would like.
10. I love Tex Mex and guacamole. I make some seriously awesome guac, and I just can't get enough.

Now it is my turn to tag a few people. If you're up to it and you read this post, I tag:

1. Jill at Hubby, Baby, and Me... Would Make 3
2. Life Happens
3. Anyone else who feels like being awarded!