The Winds of Change

As of 4:00 yesterday afternoon, things in our house have taken change for the better and will never be the same again.

Hubs has been working and running his own business from home since 6 months into our relationship. Unfortunately, with the economy being the way it was, things slowed down considerably the last year. Needless to say, the need for full time employment became imminent. At first I prayed that his business would pick back up because I was 8 months pregnant when he first posted his resume. I didn't want our baby to go to daycare.

Over the next few months I carefully watched my husband for any signs of stress about money. Luckily he is a penny pincher and so we had a lot of savings to live off of, but as time went on, those savings began to seriously dwindle. Every now and then I would see the panic set in with him, which would always send me off in a downward spiral.

The last few months have been the worst as I watched him go from being picky about what jobs he would consider to being willing to take anything that paid a reasonable amount of money. I saw sides of him I had never seen before and was powerless to help him. All I could do was offer love and support along with words of encouragement.

Then yesterday afternoon, he got the call we have been waiting almost 12 months for, he got a job!

At first I was excited and so relieved. Finally! Finally! A huge weight had been lifted off our shoulders. But then as I went to call my dad to give him the good news, the reality of the situation set in. Before my dad could answer, I was on the verge of tears. My daughter would be going to daycare. My sweet baby girl, whom I fought so hard to get here, and whom had been living the past 9 months at home blissfully with dad, was going to daycare.

I told my dad the news, and then broke down crying for the next half hour. I was so excited and so happy, yet I was so sad and upset. I hate those moments where you feel complete polar opposites with your emotions and there is no middle ground. I was so torn. I know daycare is a good thing. She will have structure, she will be taught, she will learn socialization skills, and all of those other good things. I am sad because she WILL get sick. I know its good because it will build her immune system, but what mother wants to see her child sick and be powerless to bring much comfort?

Now let us not forget all of the preparations that need to be made before she can even go to daycare... like finding one at the last minute! Luckily, I am pretty sure that will not be a problem. We're going to look at a couple facilities tomorrow, both have room, and both are highly accredited. On top of which, I have heard nothing but the best about them from coworkers whose children also attend there. That's not really the part that has my undies in a bunch, its all of the prep work I have to do to get her there. I'm going to need supplies for her to attend. Diapers, wipes in a tub, extra clothes, formula, bottles, baby food, etc. Yes, I already have most of those things, but I have to buy some just for the daycare center, and I have to get everything packed up before Monday.

On top of this, I was scheduled to take my car to a body shop on Monday after work because she is getting repainted after the Texas sun was so brutal to her the last 18 months. This whole business of getting jobs and daycare threw a little wrench in those plans, but I got it ironed out pretty quickly. I'm smart like that.

Now don't get me wrong. I am still so excited about this. In fact, when I woke up this morning most of the trepidation and fear I was feeling the night before were gone. I was onto being happy and relieved, looking at all of the positives.

Remember this post? It was all about our recent financial struggle. My prayers have been answered.

And remember this post? The financial side I alluded to had to do with DH getting this exact job. I asked R if DH would get this job. His answer, "I see two yeses, but a hesitation on your husband's part." DH was interviewed by two people. He accepted the job offer yesterday, and today a job was posted by another employer doing almost the exact same thing for 1.5 times as much money. He has been called by three different recruiters today for this job. Guess who is hesitating tonight? I have to admit, R is on way more than he is off. Am I the only one who finds that kind of ironic?

I think the next week or so will be rough as everyone in this house, including our dogs, adjusts to DH going off to work every day. I mean, that hasn't happened since we've been married! The adjustment period is always the hardest for me. I like being in the swing of things. It will only be a matter of time before everyone is accustomed to the way things are and will be from here on out. It is a good change, and one that we are all looking forward too.