Tonight while I was washing bottles I reminisced over how perfect my life has been lately. How I feel like things are really going our way. I have a perfect marriage, we finally have the baby we tried for years to obtain, we have a beautiful house, two fantastic dogs, I have four new best friends, I love where I live, I love my job, and I have more friends than I have ever had in my life. It just all feels perfect.
So why then in those moments do I feel like the other shoe dropping is just around the corner? Why can't I just fully enjoy the ride at the moment? Its like when you're at the top of the roller coaster and as you go down the first drop you love the tickle in your tummy, but half way down the hill, you're ready for that feeling to stop already because it is too much. I kind of feel that way now, only I feel like I can't fully enjoy the tummy tickle because there has to be a catch somewhere.
Does anyone else do this, or is it just me?
Its almost like a voice that shushes me in my moment of glory.
As I sat down to write this post tonight, I remembered something that may be very important to my happiness, and it comes in a pill format. With that in mind, do I really need to worry about shushing my happiness to prevent the other shoe from dropping? Is that part of the reason I feel like my life is just so perfect? I am sure it is a big part of it. I want that to be the reason. I don't want it to be because the other shoe is about to drop and 2010 is going to be a bad year. The only thing I want for this next year that is out of my control is to conceive our second child and to have a healthy, full term pregnancy.
I obviously wish for the obvious things too, like a happy and healthy family, but those are givens.
I guess I will just have to continue living my life the way I do, to be happy in the moment and leave the rest up to God.