Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Other Shoe

Tonight while I was washing bottles I reminisced over how perfect my life has been lately. How I feel like things are really going our way. I have a perfect marriage, we finally have the baby we tried for years to obtain, we have a beautiful house, two fantastic dogs, I have four new best friends, I love where I live, I love my job, and I have more friends than I have ever had in my life. It just all feels perfect.

So why then in those moments do I feel like the other shoe dropping is just around the corner? Why can't I just fully enjoy the ride at the moment? Its like when you're at the top of the roller coaster and as you go down the first drop you love the tickle in your tummy, but half way down the hill, you're ready for that feeling to stop already because it is too much. I kind of feel that way now, only I feel like I can't fully enjoy the tummy tickle because there has to be a catch somewhere.

Does anyone else do this, or is it just me?

Its almost like a voice that shushes me in my moment of glory.

As I sat down to write this post tonight, I remembered something that may be very important to my happiness, and it comes in a pill format. With that in mind, do I really need to worry about shushing my happiness to prevent the other shoe from dropping? Is that part of the reason I feel like my life is just so perfect? I am sure it is a big part of it. I want that to be the reason. I don't want it to be because the other shoe is about to drop and 2010 is going to be a bad year. The only thing I want for this next year that is out of my control is to conceive our second child and to have a healthy, full term pregnancy.

I obviously wish for the obvious things too, like a happy and healthy family, but those are givens.

I guess I will just have to continue living my life the way I do, to be happy in the moment and leave the rest up to God.


AnxiousMummyto3 said...

Hey Saige,
No of course you're not the only one. Yes, I feel like that too in moments of happiness. Perhaps your little pill does affect everything at the moment...but I think your 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' is because of all you've been through. When you've experienced the worst, you can't help feeling like you'll never escape from it. It's totally normal. Don't let this taint how you feel. You deserve to be happy. Happy New Year!

Life Happens said...

A lot of times, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop too. Especially when it comes to TTC. But then I say lots of prayers and have faith that if the other shoe drops, God will get me through it.

I hope the blessings continue to pour out upon you and your family.

Happy New Year!

Potters said...

There will always be high and low points in our lives. I hope that you can experience more highs than lows.