Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Ahhh, Facebook

All right girls, I need some catty advice.

How is that for a juicy intro? lol

Back when I was a sophomore in college I played trumpet with this other gal, we'll call her Sandy. I never really had feelings either way for her, but if asked, I would say I liked her all right. She was definitely a superior trumpet player, and I respected her skill with the brass. However, when it came to guys, I was definitely the superior player.

At one point or another, we both liked the same guy, but not at the same time, mind you. I let her crush run its course, and then I briefly tried my hand, and I do mean briefly. Partly because my attention span was so fickle when it came to guys. If things didn't move fast enough for me, I was on to the next crush within weeks. I didn't waste time on a lost cause. ;) I think part of that side of me bothered her too. I dated a lot, and she didn't date much at all.

Regardless, I never had a beef with her.

A couple years back, another trumpetess friend of ours, whom I still remain in contact with to this day, told me she had found Sandy on MySpace and suggested I add her as a friend, so I did. I went out and found her and wrote her an email, asking her what she had been up to, commented on her pictures, and told her a wee bit about where my life had gone since we last saw each other.

She never replied, and she never accepted my friend request.

"Maybe she never got on MS," you say. Well, if you have been on MS, you know that it lets the world know the last time you logged on.

She logged on almost daily.

She was choosing to ignore me.

Months went by, and I finally revoked my request. I really didn't care. Obviously I had done something, unbeknownst to me, in our past that made her dislike me and not want to be in touch with me. No biggie.

Well, a couple of weeks ago while I was at work, I got a friend request from her on FB. When I saw it, I sat back and chuckled. Seriously? Why did she want to be my friend now? Why had she ignored me a couple of years back when I wrote her that nice email?

I IMed one of my best friends, gave her the back story, and promptly told her I had no intention of "friending" Sandy. J told me that is exactly what she would do too. Let her hang out there without a reply. So I did.

Then tonight I was on FB and saw her request again while approving another friend. I told DH about it, and that I had no intention of accepting her request. He told me to stop being a b**** and approve her, that two wrongs didn't make a right (no, but two lefts do!).

So I am going to ask all of you, if you were in this position, would you approve her request, or would you feel like letting her hang out there until she revokes the request? Decisions, decisions....


S.I.F. said...

You've got to love the Facebook drama! I probably wouldn't accept her at all... ever. Clearly you two weren't friends, so what's the point? Facebook brings too many people back together who fell apart with purpose in the first place as far as I'm concerned. No point adding to the madness!

Shanel said...

I agree with your husband... but if it were me I would ask her about the past boy drama and ask her why she didn't respond to you on MS... there might be a good reason... get it all out in the open and then see what happens. there's no since in having a FB friend who doesn't even like you and vice versa...

Leah said...

Well, I would have to agree with your husband on this matter. :)

Who knows what was going on in her life a couple years back. I also opened a my space a couple years ago, and logged on constantly, but never really knew how to use it. I wonder how many friend requests I ignored back then? By accident for sure.

And maybe your friend "Sandy" was going through a rough time a couple years ago. We never know the battles others are fighting, and maybe she wasn't in a place for reconnection.

I would be the bigger person and accept your friend request. It may even give you the opportunity to let her know you reached out to her a couple years ago, and never heard back.

Good luck. :)

Mrs Bee said...

Reject it.

If she has something to say to you, she can say it in a message.
She just wants to snoop!!


themindofifer.com said...

If it were me, and I didn't actively have something against that person, I would approve them. The only people I completely ignore on FB are those that have hurt me or that I feel would be a destructive influence. I am with DH on this one :)

Jennifer said...

I wouldn't accept her, but that's just me. :) It wouldn't really even be because I wanted to be mean back to her. More so just because I don't accept a lot of people that I wasn't friends with in hs or college. She obviously didn't care enough about you a couple years ago to be your friend on ms, so what's the sudden interest now??

Heather said...

I think I'd let her. I'd let her see your gorgeous family and how full your life is...then delete her as a contact lol.

Cherish This Life! said...

Accept or deny...the never ending question when it comes to facebook.

I have to be honest that I have accepted a few only so I could look at their photos and details and then unfriended them. :) I know that's not right but the majority of them are just trying to snoop anyways.

We we started to really be "Public" about our TTC details I went thru and deleted a good 120 people. I used the grocery store theory...if you were in the grocery store doing your shopping and you saw that specific person...would you push your cart as far away as you could and hide or would you stop and talk? If I wouldn't stop and talk they got deleted!! :)

Life Happens said...

You can accept her request and wait to see if she sends you a message or says anything. If she doesn't reach out to you, then delete her as a friend.

I have people who 'friend' me on FB, and I accept, but they NEVER send me a message or even say anything to me. I'm of the mentality that if you are requesting to be my friend and I accept, then you should then write on my wall or send me a message!

Let us know what you decide to do.

Heather said...

Approve her, then become my friend, and then tell me who she is so I can check this one out! ;)