Sunday, January 3, 2010


You know, I am kind of starting to miss my meaningful blog posts. The ones about life and my opinions on the matter. The funny thing is, when I was writing all of those, I was missing the ones about my life. The ones I felt made me interesting. I guess the bottom line is, I'm just not as interesting as I think I am.

With that little tangent out of the way, I can get into the meat of this post. If you hadn't already guessed, it is about my MIL.

Does it seem to anyone else like I tend to fixate on one person at a time? If so, toss that thought out. The only reason this one person keeps going is because I'm facing a dilemma.

If you read my last post you will know I don't like my MIL very much. She says she likes me, but I wonder how much of that is BS. I think about 99.99% just because her actions speak louder than her words.

My dilemma is that my daughter's first birthday is just around the corner and I would like to throw a big party for her. I talked to my mom tonight and agreed to use some of my sky miles and help fund the cost of a second ticket to fly my parents out for the big shin dig. I have already asked DH's aunts if they want to come. All of my friends will be there.

But I don't want to invite my MIL. I don't want her in my house (she's never been here). I don't want her tantrums and her moodiness ruining my daughter's special day (she stormed out at Christmas). My husband doesn't want her here either. No one does.

I asked DH how I could go about inviting his aunts, but not his mom. He told me he didn't care and didn't understand why I did. Well, because I'm not mean and I am certainly not confrontational. Not inviting her would result in a nasty gram. DH doesn't understand why I care if she sends one. I don't know why I do either. I haven't in the past.

I suggested we invite the aunts and ask them not to tell his mother they were invited, and if they come, that they were here. I know they will be on board with it. Even if they don't come, I KNOW I am going to get a nasty gram because my parents will be here. I wouldn't be surprised if I got a phone call even.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a crazy MIL you don't want in your house? I am all ears!


Mrs Bee said...

Depends on how much your husband will back you.

I had some "issues" with my MIL and she is no longer welcome in my house.
Not really a problem as she lives on the other side of the world from me, however it does now mean that she won't be having free holidays anymore.

The trick is to stand firm with your decision.
Don't let her drag you into an argument, stay calm when talking to her too.

I wouldn't get her sisters to lie to her, that could cause a full on family feud.
Simply tell your MIL that you will be having a small gathering with people that are close to you and that she is invited.


AnxiousMummy said...

Hey Saige,
What can I say. Of course you're interesting! But on the MIL front, if you really don't want here there, just don't invite her. Life is just too short for all of this crap. But you'll need to think of something to say to her when she asks why she wasn't invited! Oh yeah, and I know why you don't want a nasty gram...cos it's NASTY!! Plus you're a nice person...:)

Jill said...

Yikes, this is a difficult situation. I'm sorry I don't have any advice. Good luck with whatever you choose. I'm sure we'll hear about it!

Potters said...

I am a push over and would just invite her even if I didn't want her there. Which if I were you I wouldn't. I wish I could be there. I miss you tons.