Welcome ICLW!

Welcome to all visitors here for ICLW!

My name is Saige, and the purpose behind my blog came about after the birth of my first child. I had gone through years of infertility treatments and extensive surgery to remove moderate endometriosis and perform ovarian drilling for my PCOS before DH and I finally and surprisingly conceived on our own about 6 months after the surgery.

After my daughter was born, I went through severe post partum depression. I have fought depression many times in my life, and it runs in my family, but somehow I thought I would be immune to PPD. My husband along with my dad and many other family members, friends, and coworkers begged me to get help. However, I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I thought I was fine, was handling everything in my life just perfectly, despite the continual crying, the inability to handle simple situations, and my many attempts to do myself in.

In addition to my PDD, I was battling the scars left over from years of infertility. I always thought that once I had a baby, I would be happy, and I am. I want more children, but my history of infertility and the complications that arose during my pregnancy kept making that desire even less obtainable than before. Just as it did before my pregnancy, my infertility problems began to consume me again.

Finally I agreed to get help. I went to a therapist who offered no help, and a doctor who would only offer me antidepressants I had been on before and had very negative side effects with. I decided seeking help was more trouble than it was worth and was only making everything worse, so I gave up. Then my world was rocked and I came to my knees.

At the request of a husband desperate to save his wife and the mother of his child, and a father desperate to save his daughter, I started playing in the major leagues. I went to a Psychologist with a PhD and sought a new family doctor who was willing to prescribe me the antidepressants I wanted to try.

Within months I noticed a huge difference. The combination of the antidepressants and visits to the Shrink were paying off big time. I have come a long way since those very dark days. I fought hard to get myself to where I am today. I appreciate the ability to look back and see just how far I've come. But my battle isn't over yet. It is gearing up for round two as DH and are getting ready to explore the possibility of TTC again.

This is my blog and my journey. My posts are sometimes philosophical, sometimes zany and crazy, other times serious and sometimes sad. If you are here for the day, thanks for stopping by. If you want to follow along, join my friendly ranks.

I wish you all the best and happy blog reading this week!