Going Back

I haven't been in to see my Shrink in a few months, mostly because finances have been really tight, and I just couldn't spare the money. Finances haven't changed, but my situation is changing. As a result, I have resolved to make it work financially, for my mental health.

In just a couple of weeks from now, I will officially be back at TTC. I have a plan in place in my head, but lets be honest, I'm a woman, and as my husband says, prone to being irrational because I am a woman. I am allowed to change my mind on a moment's notice for no reason at all other than I feel like it. We all also know that the best laid plans often go awry.

So while I have an idea on how I want to go about TTC once I get the all clear from my doctor, I know that some of my infertile fears will creep back in along with their good friend, panic. I do have a good jumping off point this time around because I've already been there once before and so have a better idea of what to expect, along with the fact I am on anti-depressants, added to the fact that I now have two IRL friends who are going through infertility right now as well. I had no one before. It was me on my own. If you add all of that to seeing the Shrink, I think I will be in good, stable hands this time. I feel really good about things overall.

That being said, I know that this next time around could also prove disastrous due to some complications that arose after my pregnancy that compounded our problems. I have moderate endometriosis as well as PCOS. I also have a uterine rupture as a battle wound from winning the war against infertility last time.

I know that keeping my feet on the ground is going to be tough, and I know I can't do it alone again. Having the addition of my friends, my Shrink, and my medication should give me a good base this time.

My first appointment back is next week. I am kind of excited to tell her everything that has gone on since I've seen her, and I am ready for her to help me keep my feet on the ground during the next few months.