Sunday, January 17, 2010

Going Back

I haven't been in to see my Shrink in a few months, mostly because finances have been really tight, and I just couldn't spare the money. Finances haven't changed, but my situation is changing. As a result, I have resolved to make it work financially, for my mental health.

In just a couple of weeks from now, I will officially be back at TTC. I have a plan in place in my head, but lets be honest, I'm a woman, and as my husband says, prone to being irrational because I am a woman. I am allowed to change my mind on a moment's notice for no reason at all other than I feel like it. We all also know that the best laid plans often go awry.

So while I have an idea on how I want to go about TTC once I get the all clear from my doctor, I know that some of my infertile fears will creep back in along with their good friend, panic. I do have a good jumping off point this time around because I've already been there once before and so have a better idea of what to expect, along with the fact I am on anti-depressants, added to the fact that I now have two IRL friends who are going through infertility right now as well. I had no one before. It was me on my own. If you add all of that to seeing the Shrink, I think I will be in good, stable hands this time. I feel really good about things overall.

That being said, I know that this next time around could also prove disastrous due to some complications that arose after my pregnancy that compounded our problems. I have moderate endometriosis as well as PCOS. I also have a uterine rupture as a battle wound from winning the war against infertility last time.

I know that keeping my feet on the ground is going to be tough, and I know I can't do it alone again. Having the addition of my friends, my Shrink, and my medication should give me a good base this time.

My first appointment back is next week. I am kind of excited to tell her everything that has gone on since I've seen her, and I am ready for her to help me keep my feet on the ground during the next few months.


Mrs Bee said...

We'll be here with you also.


AnxiousMummyto3 said...

Saige, I'm excited that you're getting back in the saddle. No matter what happens, I'm here for you.

Potters said...

I am so proud of you and the choices you have made lately. Ihope this will help you in the long run. I am here to listen whenever you need me.

Suzanne said...

I'm here for you as you start your TTC journey. I have found shrinks to be very helpful in keeping me on track.