The Farty Dog

Yes, the title of this blog post is correct. It is all about The Farty Dog. Not to be confused with The Sa.lty Do.g or Sal.t Dog. Although this dog is often called The Bleu Dog (yes, I spelled that correctly) because she looks similar to this famous fella.


But no, I am here to talk about a serious problem with my pooch. You see, she is a very, very flatulent little girl. I have never in my life had a dog that passed gas as much as my little Maxy. Hearing or smelling one of her bum treats is a daily occurrence. It used to make me laugh so hard I could barely breathe. Mostly because I had never heard or smelled a dog fart before her. But this little baby puts even the proudest man to shame.

You name the type, she does it: SBD (silent but deadly [she does this one REALLY, REALLY well {it makes you beg God for mercy}]), LAD (loud and deadly), LBND (loud, but not deadly), squeakies, Riffle (sounds similar to rifle fire "put, put, put, put, put"), Toot and Step (exactly what it sounds like, she toots every time a paw hits the floor), Sing You to Sleep (lets one long, squeaky one as she walks along), Puff (the kind where you just hear the little puff of air and wonder if you need to dawn the gas mask), and any others you can think of.

Her all time favorite is to precede you up the stairs and let a puffer in your face. She is always so proud of herself. She even turns around to see if you appreciated the gift. She toots when I'm on the phone, and guess who it sounds like ripped it? The dog never gets blamed, I can tell you that. Although I do try to blame a few of mine on her from time to time.

Despite her gaseous problems, I love my little Crazy Dog. She is such a joy in our house. She is so full of life and spunk. There is rarely a dull moment with her. Plus she is an AWESOME snuggler. So while she may stink on occasion or let one in my face, I think I'll keep her.